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Q&A: Approaching Women and Starting Conversations
By:
David DeAngelo
Author of the bestseller ebook:
Double Your Dating, What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women
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***QUESTION***
Hi, Dave.
I've recently separated after 13 years of marriage and was pretty nervous about the dating scene. I was immediately thinking of all the wussy stuff you're "supposed" to do on a first date and to attract a woman. By chance, I got on your mailing list, and you answered the questions I had at the perfect time. I realized that I need to do the same thing I've been doing with women for the past 13 years--tease them and be funny. I was never interested in dating my female friends, and I treated them as buddies, and they always chatted and danced with me at parties and told my wife she was lucky to have a guy like me. Thanks to you, I know that I can keep being my cocky and funny self and I have a better chance of meeting women than by fawning over them. The preliminary flirting and meeting I've done so far has been good practice for me--I've gotten a few numbers, but more important, have been learning from my mistakes when I don't get one, and I'm going to get your ebook to learn even more so the mistakes become less frequent.
I do have a question though. I have been skimming the online dating sites, and I find that over 90% of the women's profiles say they're looking for a nice guy who will spend romantic evenings with them and be caring and attentive and all the "wussy" stuff you decry. What gives? Does it make a difference that the online women are looking for long-term relationships and want something more stable, or are they fooling themselves and asking for something they're really not attracted to but think they should be?
Thanks again for you help! You saved me from the Sahara Desert of Dating.
R.B.
Chicago, IL
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes!
You've asked one of my favorite questions of all time...
You're basically asking “Why is it that women all say that they want a guy who acts like a WUSSY?”.
And more importantly, why is it that women actually RESPOND to something totally different?
Here it is in a nutshell:
We humans have NO IDEA what we REALLY want.
We THINK that we know what we want, but we don't.
We come into this world pre-programmed with all kinds of bizarre drives and desires... but many of them are so strange that our cultures and religions have made these natural drives “wrong”.
Now, when you have a desire for something that is “wrong”, what are you going to do?
You can't exactly run around saying “I want the thing that everyone thinks is wrong”.
Of course not.
You'd be put in a looney bin and forced to take all kinds of medication.
Either that or you'd be a rock star.
Whatever.
Look... I spent MANY YEARS of my life trying to get women to like me by kissing up to them, being “nice”, buying them thoughtful gifts, taking them nice places, and generally being a complete WUSSBAG.
Did it work?
Not so well.
Or course, I just figured that the reason that it wasn't working so well was because I wasn't good-looking or rich enough.
Only after spending a lot of time learning from guys who were “naturally” good with women did I begin to see what was REALLY going on.
The fact is that if you ask most women what they want in a man, they'll tell you that they want a “nice guy”. They want someone who is “A good communicator”. They want someone who is kind, thoughtful, and generous.
I have a theory about this.
It's a dangerous idea, though.
I think that most women say that they want a nice, ass-kissing, Wussy guy because...
...sit down for this...
THEY CAN'T FIND ANY REAL MEN IN THE WORLD, SO THEY DECIDE THAT THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SETTLE FOR “NICE”.
So stop paying attention to all this stuff that women SAY that they want, and start doing the things I'm teaching you and getting RESULTS.
Thanks for your email. Good stuff.
***QUESTION***
hey my girl lives in wisconsin i aint see in her a while shes comin bac tommow and possibly movin in wit her cousin 2 blocks from my house im nervous what do i do
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, if I read your email right, I gather:
1) You are not so sharp with words.
2) Your “girl” is also from Wisconsin.
3) She's moving in with her cousin, which tells me that they're probably getting married.
4) That doesn't surprise me, based on your email.
If I were you, I'd go back to high school...
Until then, use the spell-check feature on your email or word processor.
Please.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dear David,
David DeAngelo, you are truly a GENIUS! No, seriously, I love your work! I'm writing to you from South Africa for two reasons. Firstly, I have to thank you!
I have always been a jock. I was able to get almost any girl I wanted! There were, however, those elusive few, the cream of the crop, that would never fall for my charms. For heaven's sake, no matter what I tried, I just did not make the breakthrough! I was sure that I would forever have to do with less than I really wanted.
For anyone listening out there: NEVER settle for less! Rather read THE BOOK! I've been teasing, joking, telling girls what to do, what I want, prefer and absolutely need, what is wrong with them (Jokingly of course), what they're doing that irritates me, basically saying and doing just what I want in a C & F way. Suddenly the elusive few are like putty in my hands, telling me how DIFFERENT (!!!) I am and how GOOD(???) I treat them! They even tell me that I am "THE SWEETEST GUY EVER"! (This after doing everything possible to bust their balls!?). IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! They ask ME for MY number (When I obviously tell them please not to call me too much or ask whether they're always this eager or to please take it a bit slower) and what's more, they call ME, almost every time! Even their unknown friends call me. I am having the TIME OF MY LIFE, and I'm ENJOYING IT EXTREMELY! My utmost thanks again, David, you changed me from good to masterful.
Now for the second reason: Everyone that's reading this letter, BUY THE BOOK! I also have a lot of experience in chatting up girls, I have tried a lot of approaches, and David DeAngelo's stuff is so far THE MOST SUCCESSFUL! I love you, man. Keep it up.
PS. Read the book, "GET IT", use it, become amazing!!!
W.A. , Pretoria, South Africa.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah yes... it's amazing how these concepts will help you take your success with women to the next level, no matter where you're at now.
I get a lot of email from guys who are handsome, successful, etc. who are finally enjoying success with women... now that they're learning the most important part of the equation.
Thanks for your email.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey David D,
I got your Advanced CD series and it opened my eyes to a TOTALLY different way of thinking. It's not just about pick up lines or techniques, you really get into the psychology and evolution of why things happen and why we think the way we do...it's really deep, I enjoyed it...I listened to the whole thing in 3 days...really and I'm listening to it more and more. What I like about it is that I can hear you and your voice tone when delivering some of the techniques and answering questions from guys who have common problems...I love it. I got it off of the free trial offer and no way am I sending it back. It's deeper than anything I've ever heard and talks about ATTRACTION, which is a subject no one ever talks about when it comes to women yet its the most important part. If she's attracted to you, you're in, if she's not, you're out...simple! Thats part of my success, feeling better that I finally "get it" and starting to see the light. Something you said made a LOT of sense...either you get it or you dont. If you get it, you'll see success, if you dont, you wont. With that said, I want to share some cocky+funny lines I've come up with on my own that work well for me:
"Hey, those are nice shoes. Too bad some homeless kid is running around barefoot right now!"
"Those are some pretty earrings. I didnt know the toy store sold earrings like that!"
"What a cute ring (or watch or whatever)! Did you get that with the kids meal at (fill in your local restaurant here)?
(I cant believe this one works...) Like if a woman says something that SHOULD be obvious to everyone else you say: "Duh!...You're acting more blonde by the minute". And if the girl really is blonde, you can say: "Hey, I thought everyone knew that! You dont have to ACT blonde you know!" This is really pushing it but it works on most women.
Anyhow, I'll be out with some friends using your stuff like on the waitresses when we go out. For instance, once the waitress asked to put my left over hot wings in a to-go box. I said "Ok, but you better not put any of my bones in there!" She said: "Ok, I'll put your bones in there then". (obviously playing along) She comes back and I check the box right in front of her and say: "Let's see if there's bones in here...hmm" But she knew I was playing. So, it comes time for me to pay the bill and she hands me my bill but as I reach for it, she holds onto it and wont give it to me, then she finally does. She says: "Are you ready to pay?" And I said: "Be patient! Geez, all you women want is my money...where are the normal women at?" My friend next to me says: "What are you doing? Dont say that! Thats mean!" (he and people that say that obviously dont "get it"...he tried to get her attention by being nice ad offering her gifts earlier and it didnt work) I knew it worked because on my way out she stopped to say "bye". I didnt get her digits because I wasn't interested but I said to myself..."Boy, this stuff works!" I was happy too because at first I was blind, but now I can see, halleluah and amen!
I felt so good, I just wanted to share that with you, hopefully help some of our other guys out there.
Thanks Dave!
GT from TN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeahhhh baby.
Now you're starting to understand what's going on.
Here's a quick story for you...
I was in Phoenix this weekend visiting some good friends of mine.
We went out to a restaurant together.
There were seven of us total.
We were all sitting in a huge booth, and I was all the way on the inside. In other words, I was as far as I could have been from the waitress, and I had to yell over everyone else at the table to talk to her.
She walked up to the table to take our drink order. She was wearing this dark outfit... I think her shirt was dark green, and her skirt was black.
With it, she had on a PINK BELT.
So just as she walks up, before anyone had a chance to say ANYTHING to her, I yelled out:
“I really like the way your belt ties the whole outfit together.”
Of course, I said it in a sarcastic tone.
Now, most of the people at the table (all guys) didn't even get it. They just kind of smiled and looked at me with the “What was that?” look.
As the evening went on, I continued to make fun of her whenever I could (keep in mind, I had to yell over everyone to do it, and when I was making fun of her, everyone at the table had to hear it).
By the way, this girl was 20 years old, and pretty cute.
Now, as the evening went on, most of the guys at the table started to get a little bit nervous about what I was doing.
I mean, this girl was actually starting to act like she was upset a few times at what I said to her.
I was really pushing the envelope.
Toward the end of the meal, the guy sitting across from me began to ask me questions about what I do.
Another friend of mine had told him that I write about women and dating, and he wanted to hear about some of my theories.
This particular gentleman is a very successful businessman. He's been a millionaire for over 20 years, as it turns out.
I began by explaining to him that most guys tend to “kiss up” to women, chase them around, and do things to demonstrate that they're “nice”... but that most men never consider the fact that women feel a powerful emotional and physical ATTRACTION to something totally different.
I told him that the thing that made women feel ATTRACTION was often teasing, busting on, and being difficult with women...
...and I went on to share some of my other theories with him.
At one point, I even told him that if you have the guts to ANTAGONIZE a women in a playful way, you can sometimes make her feel such a powerful attraction to you that she doesn't even know what to do.
This guy was looking at me as if I was CRAZY.
He was watching me tease this waitress, and seeing her act upset and offended at the things I was saying.
He was totally convinced that what I was doing was making this girl HATE me.
All the other guys at the table were convinced of the same thing.
Even my friends who KNEW me didn't think that this girl liked me.
So what happened?
At the end of the meal, after she brought over the check, she walked around the end of the booth so she could talk to me alone...
Then she reached over, pulled my hair...
AND HANDED ME A NOTE WITH HER NUMBER.
No, I didn't ask for it.
No, I wasn't even interested in her.
Of course, all the guys at the table were stunned... ESPECIALLY the older successful guy sitting across from me that thought I was crazy.
It was a good time.
Thought you'd enjoy the story...
***QUESTION***
I have been reading your mailbags for quite sometime now and after reading your book, I'm a little confused. You always said not to be a wuss, but you mentioned in your ebook about opening doors and pulling out chairs and doing other nice things when you go for coffee or something. Isn't that being a wuss? Please break it down for me.
J
Chicago, IL
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great question.
Let me explain.
There is a concept known as “Chivalry”.
Now, there is much debate about what chivalry actually MEANS...
But most people describe chivalry loosely as “Being a perfect gentleman, demonstrating perfect manners, and acting courteous towards women”.
Incidentally, the word was originally a French word that meant “horseman”, and it has a lot of associations with knighthood.
The image of a dark, handsome knight coming to rescue a princess who is in distress will give you an idea of how it all fits together.
Now, the PROBLEM comes when men begin to CONFUSE “chivalry” with “ass kissing”.
You've probably heard me say that most women know EXACTLY what “sexual tension” is, and most men have no idea.
Same thing is true when it comes to chivalry.
Most women know EXACTLY what it is, and most men are so confused that they would actually be better off if they knew NOTHING AT ALL.
If you could build a miracle device that could magically go inside the minds of a thousand women and create a picture of what they all thought “chivalry” was, here's what I think you'd find...
An image of a strong, masculine, adventurous man... one who needs nothing... one who is very driven towards his own personal goals in life... one who RADIATES sexual confidence...
...and then you'd see him doing certain things like opening a door for a lady, pulling out her chair, walking on the outside of the curb to protect her, etc.
What you WOULD NOT EVER see is a weak, ass- kissing, apologetic, unmotivated, approval- seeking man who is opening doors and pulling out chairs to IMPRESS a woman.
Chivalry is ALL ABOUT the MAN doing the chivalrous things, not about the things he's doing.
In these newsletters you see a lot of letters from guys who write in to say “I don't like the idea of teasing women, being Cocky & Funny, and all the other things you say. I'm a NICE guy. What happened to being a GOOD GUY? What happened to BEING YOURSELF and having a woman like you for who you are?”.
I'll tell you what happened to it.
IT NEVER EXISTED.
It's a fantasy, just like the Easter Bunny, dude.
Here's a riddle for you.
Why is it that when you always put your own needs aside, put a woman on a pedestal, and do whatever she wants, a woman is annoyed?
And why is it that when you put your own needs first, play “hard to get”, and give women a major CHALLENGE she says things like “You're so nice”?
Answer:
WHO CARES!
The fact is that this is the reality we all live in. And it's time to get with the program, and do what works, rather than sitting around telling yourself that you're right and everyone else is wrong.
This was a great email... it probably deserves a newsletter dedicated to this topic alone.
I'll see what the feedback is on this particular comment, and maybe we'll do it sometime.
***COMMENT***
Your stories just seem 'too' tuned (made-up) to tell 'men' what they want to hear. As you said 'men' are too nice therefore naive! I have my own techniques and one things for sure - BEING TOO NICE IS NOT THE WAY! (Only on ugly or desperate women, right?) Yes!
At least give a few examples instead of telling guys what they wanna hear then I MAY consider buying a DVD.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Bite me.
I don't tell guys “what they want to hear”.
I tell guys what they NEED to hear.
I'm a pain in the ass, man.
And I don't really care whether or not you buy my DVD program. In fact, please don't.
One thing that we both agree on...
Being “too nice” isn't the way with women.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I used the most simple technique to test your methods and was absolutely AMAZED at the results. Simply put, I am in a bar and see a beautiful blonde and say to her "I love the dress, but your hair looks like s@#$". She immediately starts playing with her hair and runs into the bathroom. She comes out 20 minutes later and and asks me how it looks now, which I say "better". She walks away and talks to her friends, only to come back to me 10 minutes later to sit down and flirt with me. After a while she goes back to talk to her friends, and then comes back to me again and says "you are adorable" and keeps staring at me. She was absolutely 100% attracted to me. She kept looking at me in a crazed sort of way that I NEVER experienced after all of those years being a "nice guy". A beautiful woman was practically stalking me and all I ever said was that her hair looked bad. That's all it took. THAT was incredible!
EK
St. Petersburg, FL
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol...
You know, I'm afraid that this newsletter is going to have guys running out all over the world to insult women.
If you're reading this right now, make sure you are VERY FAMILIAR with the principles of being Cocky & Funny, the voice tone and body language involved, etc. before you attempt to use it.
If you choose to avoid this advice, you're very likely to get yourself slapped.
...which is probably what you need anyway.
Where do you learn this stuff? Try my eBook and my Advanced Series.
By the way, great story. It's CRAZY how women will start telling you how “sweet” and “cute” and “nice” you are when you tease them.
***QUESTION***
David, I downloaded your book a few weeks ago and like a dumbass I put off reading it until yesterday. I read it straight through and tried some of your methods later that night... I was talking to a little hottie and she was giving mad attitude which I immediately called her out on and then pulled out the "I know something no one else who's known you for 5 min" thing and she ate it up like it was her last meal. Throughout the night with plenty of C/F, she was like my siamese twin. Truly incredible since I had just read your book a few hours before and I have braces! What are some other "profound comments" that I can throw into my game? I can't wait to get the advanced series, and I've got a new outlook on life. Can't thank you enough.
T
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I have a profound comment for you:
SAY NOTHING.
This is one of my favorites... so let me tell you about it.
Women LOVE to say things just to see what you'll do or say in response.
Have you ever had a woman mention sex early on in a conversation?
Or maybe a woman will ask a shocking question like “When was the last time you slept with a woman?” or “How many women have you slept with?” or “I have been with a few women... what do you think of that?”.
Or maybe a woman will DO something crazy, like push her boobs together and ask if you think she should get implants.
I'm sure you've been there.
These are all things that women do to TEST you and see what you're all about.
This is yet another topic that deserves an entire newsletter... so I'll give you the short version.
One of my favorite responses is to just look back at her with a blank look, and say NOTHING AT ALL.
No response.
No facial expression.
No nervous ticks.
No excited looks.
NOTHING.
I'll let the tension build for about 5 or 10 seconds.
They I'll usually fire back some kind of Cocky & Funny comment like “Does that usually work?”.
Of course, this totally short-circuits whatever she did, and usually gets a deer-in-the- headlights look with an “I'm so innocent” question of “What do you mean by that?”.
Of course, I usually respond with “You know EXACTLY what I mean”.
Remember, when you're in one of these situations, the most PROFOUND comment you can make is often NO comment.
Great question.
You're going to FREAK when you watch my Advanced Series...
***Success Story***
I got your e-book and additional materials and I want to say thank you. I already did many of the things you teach (unintentionally) because that's what comes naturally, but now I have a much better understanding as to why it works and what I can do better, because let's face it, if I was satisfied with my success I wouldn't be here. I've always been good at approaching women, getting their numbers and keeping them interested, but I've always messed up 'closing escrow'. Your 'pull them to you', 'Push them away' technique is working, the hardest part is being patient and not rushing in.
I took a girl out last weekend to the park for a picnic (inexpensive experience) with the key ingredient (sexy food as you advised): cherries (1lb). I was looking for the cherries to do their magic and by the time we got to dessert, we were feeding each other increasing the level of sensual activity leaped exponentially. Then using your 'pull-push' technique, I would stop and say "Now you cannot rub me there in a public park" and would move her hand away from my crotch. Then I would start again and stop. I made some comments suggesting that I would be willing to 'allow' her to touch me more in private, but she didn't take the bait and wanted to continue a 'public display'. As you recommend, I cut the picnic short and said I had to do some work - I run my own business, so it was plausible even on a weekend. She emailed the next day and wants to see me again.
The trouble is how to get her from A to B (public place to bedroom) without giving the game away? I know you suggest making an excuse - before I read your materials, I have used grocery shopping i.e., taking the bags back to my place- but anyone can figure what the hidden motive is. If a girl asks you to her place for 'coffee', you never end up boiling a kettle. So should I be more direct or should I wait for her to suggest it?
Thanks in advance.
-H (London)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is an interesting question.
I don't really think that you need to make any “excuses”.
I think that your mistake was that you got too frisky with her in public, then actually told her that you'd be willing to “allow” her to do more with you in private.
Both might have been bad, in your case.
If I were you, I would have:
1) Not let things get so heavy in the park.
2) Not mentioned being with her in private.
3) Ended the picnic, then casually led her to your car, and took her to your place.
Remember, if you give a woman something to resist, she usually will.
So don't.
In fact, it's often better to put things out there as a playful CHALLENGE instead.
If a woman wants to see my house, I often say “I'm not sure about this... I don't know if I trust you. I'll tell you what. You can only come in for a minute, and no funny business”.
If I were you, I'd:
1) Wait a day to email her back.
2) Wait at least a couple of days to see her
3) Keep yourself busy, and date other women.
4) Invite her over, and cook dinner.
You take things from there...
And pay careful attention to the comments I made above. You're almost there...
***QUESTION***
Hey David,
I just bought a copy of your ebook and I think its absolutely fantastic and to put it plainly 'right-on'. (This is coming from a guy who used to think that any kind of book on dating would be a load of crap). Your ideas have changed my beliefs. Now I think I'm getting the C&F down pretty well... but I recently went out on a date with a 7.5 and we had a blast but there were one or two moments during the date when both of us ran out of things to say and so all I could think of was C&F so I ended up blurting out ... "So why don't you tell me an exciting story? If it's really good then I might consider taking you out again and you can even pay if you want!" This cracked her up and I even ended up setting another date with her but I was just wondering what I should do for future occasions if such a situation ever arises!
Thanks!
Mo
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The thing that determines whether or not a silence is “uncomfortable” is what happens RIGHT AFTER IT.
In other words, most men get all kinds of nervous if there is a silence... and by the time they think of something to say, they SOUND nervous.
If you just realize that silences are normal, and allow them to happen, you'll solve about 80% of the problems that go along with them.
Don't let silences bother you.
When they happen (and they always do), just pick the conversation back up later.
Again, most men let silences freak them out.
When you do this, then start acting nervous, it INSTANTLY lets a woman know that you're trying to impress her, and that you care too much about what she thinks of you...
Which, of course, makes your concern backfire on you.
Stay cool.
Don't let a silence bother you.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
I have been receiving your e-mails for almost a month now and I am learning more about women than I ever thought possible. Anyways, I used to always have problems understanding when and what women wanted from me. I've always seemed to make the wrong move at the wrong time, and I've paid dearly for it in many instances. BUT I now know the error of my ways. Last week a very hot girl (thanks to some of your suggestions) and I were sitting at my place watching her favorite movie, the Princess Bride, (all in all not a bad movie) when the power suddenly went out. I had nothing to do with it, I swear (wink, wink :) ). So after the initial shock wore off for her we began talking and I used your how-to-know-when-a-woman-wants-to-be-kissed concept. And you know what? It worked! Not that I was very surprised but I was a little. Thank you so much for your thoughts and I'll soon be ordering your advanced series.
JS, Vegas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, “The Kiss Test” is a great one.
One of my favorites.
I love ideas that rejection-proof the process.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dear David,
A friend of mine (male) just forwarded your newsletters to me to take a look at. He wanted my candid (female) opinion on what you were saying. After reading them over and checking out your site (yea, you hooked me, I signed up for the newsletter too) I love this stuff you're telling these guys, keep it up!
Cocky & funny is totally the way to go. More often than not, I see a guy in a club or coffee shop, laundry mat (where ever) and they're sexxy, hot, attractive or whatever and THEN they speak... Its all over. No wit, no intelligence, no spark... nothing. Sure they're great to look at, but thats 'bout it. And the guys that are witty and intelligent are too scared to approach me. Now, I just want to print out everything on your site and hand it out like candy on Halloween to random guys.
A little about me...I'm 30, short? 5'2" bout 120ish lbs asian/irish combo and I consider myself to be somewhere in the range of a 7-8, though most guys I know throw me somewhere up over 10. I have an awesome personality, am attractive, intelligent and I know exactly what I want, when I want it and am not afraid to say it.
And this thing you say about females being competitive, lol! Its soooo true. My girl friends hate me but come to me with every question imaginable about how to deal with men, they call me the heart breaker and of course they all tell me I should write a book.
I have a large number of male friends and from them I've learned this one valuable thing...Men are incredibly easy to read, its a shame. They truely get trapped in this cycle of behavior patterns and have no way out, which makes them semi-unattractive to the opposite sex. I'm not in a successful relationship because it ALWAYS ends with this confident and intelligent guy turning into a blob of lime jello in my presence.
It starts like this, I meet guy, date guy (or whatever use your imagination) he falls head over heels WAY too fast then transforms from this attractive appealing person to...yea jello. Most of the girls I know want to know the secret to turning a guy into mush and having them right where they want them, but fail to understand that its BORING! Women are somewhat like men and want to be stimulated, though it does take different things to stimulate women than men, but its a basic common sense concept.
You keep telling these guys that chicks may think they want the same old blah blah blah, but they really don't, they want the...omfg RaR~!! Give them that and they're totally yours...
Unless of course its me, then they'll always need to change up to keep me interested, cuz i'm one in a million (lol) I'd send you my picture and open a correspondence with you because you seem hella interesting and get "it", but then you'd fall madly in love with me and abandon your technique... then i'd have to break your heart ;)
D in MA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
All men should be forced to read this email every day for 30 days in a row before they're allowed to have their 18th birthday party.
AMEN sister!
By the way, if there's one thing you can bet money on, it's that I'm not falling in love with you because you send me a picture.
But it was a nice thought.
For you, I mean.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Seriously, dude, where were you 16 years ago when I could have really used this stuff?
Not that I'm not having fun using it right now. Your advice is pure gold. If there's a guy out there on the fence right now about trying out the C+F routine, hop off that fence and start using it.
I recently divorced and started a new job, and there's a hottie there that I'm not interested in dating but has been a great test subject. I bust her balls all the time, and she eats it up! I've been getting free lunches out of the deal and get to be seen with a beautiful woman, so there's no downside.
Here's where your stuff really helped out, though. One day she comes to my cubicle and I'm doing the C+F thang -- when she suddenly gets pouty and calls me mean. She says, with a frowny face, "I don't like the way you keep making fun of me." Well, this is certainly new behavior on her part, because up until now she's been loving it. Then the light bulb goes off in my head -- this is a test! "If you don't like it," I respond very matter-of-factly, "then don't smile so much when I do it." Her frown melted into a smile and she invited me out to another free lunch!
David, I swear, a few years back I would have failed this test. I would have apologized for making fun of her, immediately complimented her in some way and made a total wimp out of myself. But not now -- thanks to you!
P.S. -- You should have heard the guys in my department after this little exchange. They couldn't believe how smooth and calm I was. I immediately sent them all a copy of your newsletter.
-- P in Minneapolis
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Your response is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny.
“...then don't smile so much when I do it...”
LOVE IT... love it.
This is the way to communicate with women.
This is it.
Thanks... great story.
***QUESTION***
David...
Kudos on the Advanced Series CD set and the eBook...it's absolutely phenomenal material! I'm really feeling my confidence skyrocket with every listen and application of this stuff. WOW!!!!
The other day, I was out at Borders Bookstore and saw this very attractive girl reading a book, and she looked deep in thought. Knowing that girls who look like her are often treated like they are only all beauty and no brains, I walk up to her and ask, "Is this seat taken?" and sit down with her and say, "I saw you sitting here and you looked like you were very deep in thought and wanted to know... <> ...what is on your mind?" David, she MELTED!!! I hardly had to talk for the rest of 10-15 minutes I was with her, because she was so excited that someone saw her for her brains and not her boobs (reallllly nice ones, at that...lol). I told her I had to go and gave her MY NUMBER...and my phone has been ringing off the hook!!!! This is a really important concept you've harped on before: noticing the typically unnoticed aspects of a woman - if she's brainy and only modestly pretty, emphasize her beauty and if a woman is very attractive, make sure to stroke her intellect because these girls never have attention paid to their mind, only to their body. Woman LOVE IT that you notice these unnoticed things about them...it makes them feel like there is some sort of "cosmic connection" between you and Her.
Now to the questions......In your CD Series, you talk about setting the "ground rules" with women in the very beginning of the relationship. One was about telling a woman that your house is a place with a calm, positive vibe and that no drama is tolerated and the other was telling a woman that you have zero intentions of starting a relationship anytime soon. Now, these are awesome ideas that I want to come across but do I tell the girls directly or do I 'convey' them somehow? If so, how do I convey these ideas??
Thanks A Lot!!!
D, Indiana
>>>MY COMMENTS:
In short, BOTH.
When it comes to my house, and telling a woman the “rules” of being in my house, I like to tell her DIRECTLY.
I lay it all out.
Why?
Why not imply it somehow?
Because in this case, telling her IS implying something. But it's something ELSE.
When I lay down the rules for being in my house, I'm communicating something FAR more important to her.
I'm communicating that I'm in CONTROL of the situation... and that this is MY territory.
Get it?
Remember in the Advanced Series when I explain that women are ALWAYS interpreting the things you say? And that you have to learn how to STOP saying things directly, and start saying everything by IMPLYING?
Well, this is a case of implying by saying something ELSE directly.
I know, deep, man.
Great question...
And by the way, if you're reading this right now, and you're ready to take your success with women to an entirely different level, then I have a few things to tell you...
First, I want to ask you something.
What is it that's holding you back?
What's stopping you from having success with women?
Think about it for a minute.
Now I have something REALLY interesting to share with you...
YOU'RE WRONG.
See, I know that most guys have a “secret reason” why they fail with women.
Maybe it's that they're too short.
Or maybe it's because they're too old.
Or maybe it's because they're bald.
Whatever it is, it's THE big reason.
Unfortunately, most guys walk around with their “secret reason”, and use it to explain to themselves why NOTHING can EVER work for them.
As they read these newsletters, in their minds they're constantly saying “That's a great story, but that would never work for ME because of my secret reason...”.
Are you with me here?
Well guess what...
WE ALL HAVE A SECRET REASON.
But the fact is that you're WRONG.
Your secret reason IS ABSOLUTELY NOT the reason why you don't have the kind of success with women that you'd like to have.
The REAL reason why you don't have the level of success you want is because you're not DOING ANYTHING about it.
I have spent a lot of time getting to know a lot of guys who are successful with women.
And guess what?
MOST of them are NOT what you would expect.
Sure, I know a few guys that are tall, rich, and handsome.
But the MAJORITY of guys that I know who are successful with women are AVERAGE OR BELOW in MOST areas of their lives.
I know at least 4 or 5 SHORT guys who date so many hot women it would make your head spin.
Most of the guys I know who are really good with women make average incomes.
...and on and on.
I now believe 100% that you can overcome any little “disadvantage” that you have, and go on to become VERY successful with women.
One more thing...
I've spent a LOT of time putting my eBook and other products together.
Think about this for a moment...
What if I asked you to spend a few YEARS of your life, thousands of dollars of your own money, and all kind of hard work and effort to learn something?
What if I told you that at the end of that time, I wanted to have you create a program that taught me everything you learned, but I was only going to pay you a couple of hundred bucks to do it?
What would you say?
You'd probably laugh at me.
Well, that's what I'VE done myself.
I've spent YEARS figuring out this area of my life for MYSELF. I took the time to try all kinds of crazy ideas, and test everything I learned.
Most of it didn't work.
Most of it sucked.
I wasted more time trying stupid things than anyone I know.
But the good news is that I figured it out.
I took myself from not being able to even walk over and talk to a woman to being able to date the most beautiful and intelligent women alive.
And now I've created the programs that I WISH I had when I started.
I'm serious about this.
I always ask myself “What do I wish I had when I started”... and I go from there.
Finally, I've been doing something lately that is UNHEARD OF...
In the past, I got a lot of emails that said things like “If your stuff is so great, why don't you send me a free copy, and if it works for me, I'll pay you...”.
I just laughed and said “Yea, right, whatever”.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was the way I PERSONALLY would like things to be when I buy things.
So guess what?
I tried it.
And it seems to be working pretty well.
Here's the deal:
If you want to download my eBook, I'll let you do it on a FREE TRIAL.
That's right, you don't have to pay up front for it.
If you like it, keep it. If not, you don't pay.
I'd also like to invite you to sign up for my FREE Dating Tips Newsletter... where you'll get more great tips like these.
You can do both here:
• Free Newsletter And Download eBook •
This offer is the real deal. No tricks.
Check it out.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
Read More Articles By David DeAngelo:
 The 10 most dangerous mistakes you probably make with women
How To Get A Woman's Phone Number And Email Address
A Secret Women Know That Men Don't
How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out
Secrets Of Dating Younger Women
What Women HATE Most About Single Guys
Why VERY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women
David DeAngelo is the author of “Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women”, and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
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