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The 10 biggest mistakes nice guys make that
cause them to lose the girl -
By David Faibish
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1. Showing that they want the girl early on in the game, therefore handing the power over to the girl:
Expensive dates and gifts, compliments, too many phone calls, text messages and acting needy - all of these things make a woman’s “attraction mechanism” subconsciously think to itself “Hey, what’s with this guy? At first he seemed ok, but now he gives me so much in order to be with me and win my affection. This guy probably doesn’t get many girls, if any. Look how fast he fell for me. Why is he doing all this? Is it in order to get something from me? Maybe sex?!”
When something like this happens to a woman, she loses attraction to the guy and raises her defenses. She’s basically turned off because now SHE KNOWS that this guy wants her or wants to sleep with her and will do everything to get her affection. This means that now she gets the power and she calls all the shots. For her, this guy is now just one of many other predictable spineless losers.
In order to feel strongly attracted to a guy, a woman needs a REAL MAN, one who can LEAD HER AND BE INTERESTING, MYSTERIOUS, AND A CHALLENGE, not the other way around. Women have been programmed to be attracted to men who act like ALPHA MALES, and alpha males DO NOT act like wussies who supplicate to women, worship them, and put them on pedestals.
A man who tries too hard to impress a woman and who falls in love with her too easily reassures her that he’s not wanted by other women (i.e. not socially proved). She then loses attraction because he’s not “valuable” enough.
Women‘s attraction mechanism is automatic. It works like magic and is usually instant.
2. Being boring and too predictable:
I’ve already mentioned the number of times a beautiful woman is being hit on until she’s 21.
Hot women know a lot of cool manly men, and their standards are REALLY high.
They are also experts when it comes to men’s behavior and predictability. They have heard it all, seen it all and they can get sex whenever they desire.
So if you don’t know how to create sexual tension between a female and yourself, and you’re quite uninteresting and predictable, you will bore them and lose all chances of ever attracting them: You will turn them off immediately.
Real men are unpredictable. They do whatever they want and they don’t always comply with whatever hot women ask them for. They don’t kiss women’s asses; they lead. They’re full of confidence and they keep women challenged. Therefore, they’re INTERESTING to women.
That’s much more attractive to hot chicks than being like everybody else, who tells them how pretty they are, etc.
3. Being too friendly for too long without any attempt to move to the next step in the relationship:
LJBF - Ever heard of that? Of course you did! It means, “Let’s Just Be Friends.” When you meet a girl who likes you, who is not led to the next level by you, but rather, you stay cute, polite, and funny, not sexy, challenging, and daring, you will fall into this terrible situation of LJBF. (Let’s Just Be Friends)
But don’t feel bad about it. I was there, most of the pick-up artists in the world were there, and most likely so have you. As a matter of fact, MILLIONS of nice guys are there right now. Suffering…
It is very hard, if not impossible, to get out of this situation and regain a girl’s attraction. You’ve got to keep on moving ahead instead of waiting for her to make the first move.
Most women won’t make the first move because it’s the men’s natural job to LEAD. Burn it into your brain!
I was lucky to meet a few girls who were impatient and made the first move for me, but I lost more girls who waited for me to initiate, which never happened because I was shy, inexperienced and lacking the appropriate knowledge.
Naturally, I also missed on some great sexual opportunities with some seriously HOT women. But no more!
(Well, at least I got some good female “just friends” out of it…)
When a woman says: “But I like the way it is now and don’t want to ruin it,” she means: “I like you as a friend, but I’m not sexually attracted to you.”
What can you do in this situation?
Well, you’ve got 3 options:
- Say “ok, whatever…” and stay her good wussy friend;
- Find a way to get her to be attracted to you and win her over;
- Forget about a romantic relationship with her, learn from your mistakes and look for another girl.
The third option is the best one.
Why? Because it’s just too much energy with low chances of success to try to win her over. Also, you can very easily ruin the entire relationship that you probably like and appreciate. Besides, maybe with a NEW (preferably a beautiful) girl by your side, the former will finally realize that you CAN be a real man who is able to attract women. Maybe then she will slowly regain her attraction towards you if you start to “man-up.”
4. Talking and joking too much about sex:
Although sexual humor is (in my opinion) the funniest kind of humor (especially if it gets really freaky), you should spare the ladies from your funny unnecessary sexual remarks and jokes and get them laughing from a different kind of humor.
I’ve had women telling me to my face that by telling too many sexual jokes to them I demonstrated the lack of sex in my life; which is unattractive to them.
Compare 13-year-old boys to James Bond, for example. Totally complete opposites. The younger boys obviously don’t get any sex and that’s all they can think and joke about. Mr. Bond, on the other hand, is a REAL man. He’s used to sleeping with a lot of women and doesn’t get excited and talkative about the subject.
When the topic of sex comes up in the conversation by the woman, treat it as a test. Be mature about it and then change the subject nonchalantly to something else. (Preferably teasing her about HER being too horny, because she always talks about it like she doesn’t get any, and that’s just sad…).
If you treat it like it’s a test, reassuring the woman that you’re mature enough about the subject and don’t seem needy or too horny, she’ll feel better about you.
This rule applies to BEFORE you two get the chance to know each other and develop trust, rapport and affection towards one another.
If you’re together for 5 months, for example, it’s ok to use dirty humor. Only the phase in which attraction and trust need to be established has to be carefully handled.
5. Losing their tempers easily:
Real, confident men don’t lose their tempers very easily.
A man who responds to a situation by shouting has no better solution to it, so he chooses to convey power and threat in order to win.
Confident and attractive men are usually calm and restraint. If there is a problem, they always know how to handle it. (That’s why they’re so confident.) And if they happen to fall into an argument, they don’t shout. If they are sure they’re right they’ll just talk. If they know they might be wrong they will listen to the other side because they want to learn and better themselves and DO THE RIGHT THING.
If for some reason an argument has gone out of control, they’ll just pull out because they know it is not worth the energy spent on it.
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